Language for sex, lesson #1

In this lesson, you will learn how to say very nice and useful words like vulva, penis and clitoris and also how to say “kiss my labia !”.

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You have reached the text version of the lesson but you might as well want to play the video and then read the lesson in order to become an expert.

I thought I would write a book with nice drawings and stuff for this. I thought it would be really cool that people learn this in workshops, with all the nice sexual tension of a group. I thought things would go as planned but this is not how life goes. I could die tomorrow and this project could be lost, like many of the things I do. By trying to make things “perfect”, I’m just taking care of my fear of not belonging, my fear of being not enough. And this keeps things from happening and lots of my stuff is just suffocating in closed drawers and secret computer folders.

So this is the first online lesson on this language and I’ll probably move to a video format to teach this stuff if anyone claps at this and there is some interest. Who knows.

OK, so before we go any further on the reason for this and all, the word for vulva is yon and the penis is tar. Good, let’s continue.


I’m a strong believer that there is only one big rule to good sex: presence.

This implies wanting to be there (consent) and being there as you are (tantra). The first part is obvious: we should have enough respect to ask others and ourselves if sex is a good idea and answer honestly. Once this is done, things are much better then when the project is blurred with unclear communication of mutual interest.

The other half of the rule to great sex is being ourselves and letting go of fear. The fear that our desires will be rejected, the fear that our sexual energy will be too much or not enough, the fear that we might not provide or get what is expected.

This language is my own little idea to try and help with the second part of this being here thing by allowing participants in sex to be bold with what they desire. For the first part, please read all you can on consent, especially in the realm of Kink where there is this idea of safe-words or “consent removal”. It’s important to say “yes, I want this” at the beginning of a sex game and it is as important to be able to say “I no longer want this” without fear of blame, failure or anything.

Power play as self-discovery

The first “level” in this sexual exploration with keoda is D/s games (giving the other one orders for what we want). This implies learning to trust by letting go as a sub and learning to trust by expressing our most intimate wants and needs as a Dom.

Lesson 1

So, today’s lesson will be teaching you some basic words and expressions that you can use tonight (or whenever you have the opportunity to play with someone). The first thing you need to know is that

All words for body parts are also verbs. This means that the word for vulva (yon) is also the verb “to embrasse with the vulva”. Most body parts are also positions and the name of the position reflects that body parts in contact with the ground. For example, standing up is sat (foot).

Yon — vulva

This is your first word. It is pronounced [jɔ.n], like turning the light “on” with the y from “yes” (think “yes on”). The tongue ends on top of the mouth, because yon loves your tongue gently pressing against it (keli yon melo). The verb yon means “embracing, kissing with the vulva”. You will need to learn the word for vagina if you want anything deeper.

Ke — prefix for “hidden”

Yes, there are prefix/suffix and all kinds of things to alter the meaning of words. It is pronounced [], like in kettle. I’m just telling you about this one because it gives you the word keyon (“hidden by the vulva”, aka clitoris). There is no verb (yet) for the clitoris. I have a hunch that it could be “intrigue” but I need to talk to more of these creatures and ask them what they think about this choice.

Tar — penis

Pronounced with a raw “r” like in french [taʁ]. There are ways to differentiate an erect or flaccid penis (or vulva) but this is for another lesson.

Haf — head (also as prefix)

Pronounced like the UK version of “half” [hɑːf] (slow “a”). This is just so that you know how to say haftar (“head of the penis” or glans). But you can also say just haf for the head.

So now that you have these basic words, you can say haftar yon (play on my vulva with your the glans of your penis), yon yon (kiss my labia with yours), yon tar (play on my labia with your penis), haftar keyon (tickle my clitoris with your glans).

And if we add the word for lips, you can do a lot of oral sex too:

La — lips

Pronounced [la], as in the first part of “life”.

Kiss me: la la.

Kiss my vulva: la yon.

So now you should have understood that the first word is the verb and the second one is on what the action takes place. The first word concerns “you” (what you have to do) and the second word concerns “me” (where this happens on me).


In this lesson, you learned the words yon, ke, tar, haf and la and the composed words keyon and haftar. At this point, you may be wondering what stands for keoda.

Oda means “body”. So keoda is the language hidden in the body because it’s true meanings come with practice and experience. You will never understand yon unless you spend time listening and discovering this beautiful part of the human body. Same for tar, haftar, keyon or la.️

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